


if only it were that easy

by loveinducing



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Inappropriate Use of the Force, More tags to be added, Post TLJ, Slow Burn, why won't they just talk it out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-20 09:41:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13715013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveinducing/pseuds/loveinducing
Summary: For some reason, Rey thought that she’d wake up in a cell, or perhaps hidden away in his chambers, if he still claimed to want her after what had happened. He’d come back with the blood of the Resistance on his hands, an unrelenting army at his feet and promises of everything she desired on his parched lips.





	if only it were that easy

The smell of burning cloth and flesh had yet to leave the room, as immense as it was. It overcame all of her senses in a way that hours of meditation would not easily erase. Surely it would be days before the scent of musk and death decided to leave her skin, and the sight of numerous corpses wouldn’t be kind enough to stop appearing behind her closed eyelids. Perhaps, with the guidance of her master----

 

No. Ahch-to was off limits.

 

For some reason, Rey thought that she’d wake up in a cell, or perhaps hidden away in his chambers, if he still claimed to want her after what had happened. He’d come back with the blood of the Resistance on his hands, an unrelenting army at his feet and promises of everything she desired on his parched lips. Perhaps she’d even allow herself to believe his sweet nothings, as much as they hurt. She would only need to refuse his petition time and time again, until he and the Force around them lost interest in what was between them.

 

Such bittersweet torture was befitting of a traitor.

 

Her back felt stiff and sore from the fall against the floor of Snoke’s chambers, as did the bruise blossoming on her temple. As comforting as the cold was on her back, the small pieces of debris digging into it were not, and Rey could only ignore her discomfort for so long. Pain dragged her back to the surface, to the reality she feared facing. The transports. The First Order. Ben.

 

_ Ben. _

 

She groaned softly, forcing her eyes to open. Around her, what used to be symbols of raw power and strength lied in pieces on the floor, red and gold in the middle of overbearing black. And among it all, silver, torn in two by their disagreement. From her spot, she watched the cracked kyber crystal glint where it met the light, its shine hypnotizing from where it poked out of a half. Broken. But not beyond repair.

 

Maybe she was the same, she wondered, daring to finally acknowledge the unconscious figure on the other side of the room. From where she was, it was unclear whether he was still breathing, or if their reluctance to surrender had claimed its price. Swallowing around the knot in her throat, Rey slowly crawled towards him, mindful of the pieces of torn metal in her way.

 

There was a chance this had gone terribly, terribly wrong, and she couldn’t help the way her fingers trembled as she pressed them to his chest, clutching at the black material under her hands. His rattled hair hid part of his expression from view, but she was still almost sad to find calmness on his features. Of all the possible moments Ben Solo could feel at ease, it was only possible for him to embrace peace when he was asleep.

 

It was faint, possibly muted by the thick fabric beneath her fingers, but his pulse was undeniably there, anchoring her to his side. He’d wake up soon, no doubt. If she was already up, there was no way he’d stay down for long, and they would have to deal with the consequences of their actions.

 

Snoke was dead, killed by his hand. The Resistance struggled to survive, hunted down until they were almost facing extinction. She was a Jedi, and he was not. She was a girl, and she had said no.

 

“What have we done…?” Rey whispered, her right hand trailing up to cup the scarred side of his face.

 

It was cold to the touch, soft beyond what was fair, and she wondered what would happen if his brown eyes were to open now. Taking her in, huddled by his side as if she wasn’t supposed to escape while she still could, leaving all of this behind.

 

Whatever it was.

 

His own lightsaber was still by his side, and the half he had held onto with the Force wasn’t too far away. She could take both away, rob him of one of his strengths. Building a different saber wouldn’t take him that long, as he had already done it in the past. A small advantage to anyone who dared come into his striking range, if they weren’t subjects to his own mastery of the Force. Surely no one in their right mind would dare lay a finger on the new Supreme Leader.

 

At that, Rey snorted. As if they would have before.

 

Her knees were starting to protest under her weight, and her headache was only getting worse. As the minutes passed with no move on her part other than the gentle caresses on his hair, she was forced to come to a decision.

 

She  _ couldn’t _ stay. She  _ didn’t _ want to go.

 

The bond hummed in anticipation, waiting for her to play her role in this story.  _ Yes, always, together, _ it seemed to chant. For a second, she would have had it all. The galaxy hardly ever mattered to someone as humble as her, but him… That was a prize worth taking. But Ben Solo was bound to be Kylo Ren to everyone else, with or without the mask. He’d kill the Jedi, whatever remained of the new Republic, the scarce members of the Resistance.

 

Perhaps he’d kill her now.

 

She allowed herself one more minute, just a few seconds of them being like this. Silent, calm. Not fighting, for once. The almighty Jedi they all expected her to become stared at the face of the one bound to be the end of her someday, one way or another. He looked none the wiser to the inner conflict she was experiencing, and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Slowly, both wishing to delay the moment and willing her legs to respond, Rey got up. Immediately she felt the need to crouch back by his side, and she trampled it down as she made her way to the pieces of what had once been Luke’s lightsaber. She didn’t hesitate as she picked them up, eyeing the remains of the crystal warily. She did, however, pause by Ben’s lightsaber. 

 

Its blade had been such a fiery, unstable red, much like his anger. Something in her cried out at having to face them both again in battle, back to their respective sides. And yet, Rey looked away, leaving it exactly where its owner had.

 

It was about time they stopped taking parts from each other.

 

She didn’t need the bond to feel the intensity of his eyes on her back, but she could pretend not to notice. They both could.

 

She ran, and he didn’t stop her.

 

\-----

 

Kylo Ren would have stopped her, waved his hand in front of her and carried her unconscious body back to the heart of the ship, just as he once had. He would have made her understand how big they could be, teach her and have her reign by his side. If he closed his eyes, he could see the vision he had back when their hands touched. Her, deadly, her light not extinguished, but inverted. Him, stronger than ever, having found someone he would gift the whole galaxy.  _ Them, _ unmatched, unparalleled, uncontested.

 

Ben Solo merely pretended to be asleep. For her sake. Always, anything, all and nothing if she so needed. He would rip himself apart should she truly want him to do so.

 

It had already started.

 

It wasn’t that he wasn’t angry at her decision. The heat in his veins went right up to his head, threatening to take full control and make him do something he just might regret. Kylo clenched his teeth. He would show her, one way or another. The Resistance would perish under his command, and then---- then she would realize that they were bound by something greater than a stupid thread of the Force.

 

She  _ had _ to.

 

The thing between them almost whined, and he knew she was gone, back to her precious Resistance. Back to the traitor, if he managed to survive his blows in Starkiller.

 

Even though he no longer donned the mask, Kylo let himself slip into his former self, certain to shield him from whatever other forms of treason came his way. His own words echoed in his mind, laughing at his expense. 

 

_ Let the past die. _

 

The first time she had seen her in the forest, cornered and so afraid, fierce even as she was bound to lose to his will. What followed afterwards, standing proud amidst the snow and wielding his grandfather’s lightsaber even when she barely knew how to use the damn thing. Her closed eyes, summoning a power he wished he had. Her foul mouthed remarks, the need to reach out and hold her hand in his----

 

_ Kill it, if you have to. _

 

He was a fool to think it would ever work.

 

Not even an hour later, a new Supreme Leader would rise.

 

\-----

 

She knew they’d come after the Falcon. They hated the ship and what it represented more than she could imagine, and she idly wondered if  _ someone _ had ordered the attack on them. If there was anyone whose hate toward the ship bordered on the unhealthy, it probably was him.

 

Rey didn’t have much time to dwell on it, though. The ships behind them followed them through the insides of the planet relentlessly, wanting to erase all trace of their existence. No one would ever find their remains here, if there were any; red crystal formations would only shine brighter if blood was spilt on them. 

 

She could barely breathe as the walls kept closing around them, the sound of blasters only being interrupted by the screams of the external parts of the ship coming in contact with the rocks. And yet, she swallowed her fear, burying it where even the one on the other side of the bond would never perceive it, and grabbed the controls in front of her so tightly that her knuckles went  _ white. _

 

The last of the pilots behind them made a mistake, crashing and leaving only an explosion for them to see. Her fingers twitched, ready to shoot down any other survivors if needed. Even though Rey couldn’t see anything, letting her guard down would only be a mistake. 

 

All of a sudden, they were out.

 

She sighed, her heart still beating furiously in her chest. The adrenaline wouldn’t leave her veins right away, and she forced herself to take deep breaths in order to calm herself down.

 

_ Focus. Find them. _

 

Countless crystal foxes climbed up a hill, seemingly out of nowhere. There must have been an exit nearby, the only escape route to those inside the old rebel base. Nature would always find a way to survive. She hoped the Resistance would, too.

 

One of the Porgs in the ship was still shrieking in fear somewhere near her by the time they landed on the surface of Crait, probably not too amused by the wild maneuvers Chewie had done. She ignored it on her way out, as much as it hurt not to comfort the poor creature. There were more important things that required her attention.

 

When her boots finally touched salt, the problem soon became apparent. She eyed the pile of rocks with apprehension, doubt starting to worm its way into her mind. 

 

_ You have no place in this story. _

 

She reached out with her hand.

 

_ You come from nothing. _

 

Her fingers pointed to the pile, her chin tilted just the slightest bit upward.

 

_ You are nothing. _

 

“Lifting rocks.” She whispered, and then she  _ pulled. _

 

The voices in her head could only go quiet as tons of weight were lifted at her command, allowing the people trapped inside to escape. One by one, she watched as familiar and unknown faces joined her outside, not knowing what to make of the awe and surprise on their faces. This was what everyone feared and wanted, the power of the Force. A legend to rely on, should Luke Skywalker ever fail them. A new symbol.

 

Finn.

 

She let the rocks fall, rushing to his arms as soon as her feet would allow her. His arms wrapped around her tight, and Rey decided to allow herself this, if only for just a little moment. Screw the First Order. Screw the Resistance. She was only a woman.

 

Her eyes closed on their own, clinging onto the warmth he offered like it was a lifeline. She had missed him so much.

 

“Rey.” Finn almost choked on the word, holding her even closer if possible. Her own throat clogged up, all her emotions from the long day threatening to spill from her eyes, but she merely took a step back. The small smile she offered him was a little worn around the edges. 

 

Leia watched on, not saying a word. Around them, what was left of the Resistance rushed to the Falcon. She followed them, trying not to acknowledge the news the Force so heartlessly delivered. Another light had gone out, joining the many others that had given their life for the cause. Rey stiffened, feeling like a bucket of cold water had been poured over her head.

 

Luke Skywalker was dead.

 

\-----

 

No one paid any mind to the Supreme Leader as he stormed into the room, eyes falling on the golden pair of dice that he hadn’t seen ever since he was a kid. Against the leather of his gloves, they didn’t feel solid, as if they were part of a ridiculously well made holo that wanted to fool his senses by sight alone. It had certainly managed to do so.

 

The Resistance was nowhere to be found. His uncle had made him feel like a stupid kid, still too foolish to make up for his wrongs, still not willing to understand yet another one of his lessons. He didn’t say anything as the dice vanished, the illusion leaving him alone once more. Funny. It seemed nothing seemed to stay with him that day.

 

His fists clenched, tension welling up in his all too tired frame. Defeated.

 

When the Force around him sang, his mind locking in place against hers, he wasn’t even surprised. The bond thrummed expectantly, as if waiting for them to lock blades even across different places. They knew how to deal with  _ violence. _ Whatever this connection asked of them was too much to consider, enough to make his vision swim with mental images of her in his arms, on her  _ back _ \----

 

Kylo pushed those thoughts away, daring to look up at her retreating figure. She paused, but he knew her fingers were on the controls of the door, ready to close it should he make a threatening move.

 

He couldn’t. He wouldn’t.

 

He simply stared at her figure, wondering when the next time he would see her would be, a last petition on his eyes.  _ Stay, _ they said.  _ We could be everything we ever wanted and more, _ they begged. The bond seemed to hum at that, and he watched a shudder course through her body.

 

They were meant to crash and fall, burning everything at their wake.

 

She didn’t break eye contact as her hand hit the panel, closing the gate between them and effectively severing their connection. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so emotional after what happened in TLJ, that I couldn't help giving a post TLJ fic a go. We'll see how they deal with this. Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading!


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